Who couldn’t love that face?!
Life is Good
The month of February was a fantastic one for us!
1) we celebrated 4 months of married life
2) we had our first valentines day as Mr. And Mrs.
3) we went on our honeymoon
4) we found out he got transferred to work IN OUR HOMETOWN!
The transition of living together has gone very well despite the fact that we both like things our own way. I cannot begin to describe the joy I feel getting off work knowing I’m headed home to see my husband and talk and cook and share and exercise and just simply be with.
The month of February was a fantastic one for me as well!
1) I have the possibility of a job very close to home (fingers crossed)
2) I breathe easier going to work knowing steps are being made in the right direction where all are concerned
3) I have LOVED studying through the book of Revelation!
Yes friends, there is renewed tone after so many “down-n-outs” for the past few months. Hallelujah!
Don’t Hold Your Breath
Tomorrow is a big day for us.
Tomorrow he puts in to be transferred to the town we call home.
Tomorrow holds the promise of us finally living together in the same house for the first time as a married couple.
Tomorrow, I’m not holding my breath about what tomorrow brings, but boy it’s fun to think about.
Row A Little Farther, Dig A Little Deeper
We’re going deep on this one y’all-watch out.
I have an odd way of dealing with all emotions-I don’t, but at the same time I wear my heart on my sleeve. I also use humor and sarcasm as a way to cope. During a particular event I am very task-oriented and process emotions later.
As we venture further into married land and still aren’t together, I struggle daily with showing him how much I love him. Tonight he let me know he was helping out a female friend in need. I encouraged his help but also poked fun at my own insecurities about being apart. Wrong. Move. It might be because he was initially attracted to my independence. It might be because I KNOW I have nothing to worry about. Who knows. Either way he quickly let me know how “dumb” my reaction was. Being many, many miles apart and not being able to have our own “marriage language” doesn’t help.
There’s not much of a conclusion here. Writing through some of these silly interactions helps to think through them and move on without causing too much of a fuss.
As we have spent today packing and buying items needed I have been, what I feel, strong through most of the process. As we sit together in the living room packing everything into a ruck sack I find myself fighting back tears. The reality of what could possibly be coming later this year is hitting too close to home tonight. I try to be strong because the last thing he needs is a crybabysissywetpants, but I cannot imagine sending off the love of my life not knowing if I’ll get him back. I think of all the plans we have for children and grandchildren and a new house and adventures. I think of Bible studies together and exercising side-by-side. I think of the sleepless nights and the endless questions. I think of my husband going to defend our country. Time to soldier up.
A Revelation
Last night I started a Bible study with a group of ladies who, overall, are in a much different place than I am, but I am excited to learn from them. I am also excited about the Bible study overall and getting back into the Word. The next 10 weeks we will be digging into the book of Revelation, which is quite fitting for what our first “homework” assignment was-ask God to reveal Himself in each of our day-to-day lives. When I prayed this morning for my eyes and heart to be open so that I did not miss God, I immediately thought of the struggle I have been having at work and realized I am suppose to be the light in this current situation. What a difference this revelation made at work today. The smiles, the laughter, the conversation were all things that had been absent for quite sometime all because I was missing why I am where I am currently.
A Healthy Me = A Healthy We
This past Sunday we went to church with my new sister and brother-in-law. The message was part of a series on “Re-new You.” Very early in our relationship we determined that it was extremely important to both of us to have a Christ-centered relationship. A large part of our relationship has been long-distance, and that has become a “reason” to not pray together and not study the Bible together. After Sunday’s sermon I realized that even if we are not going to do something as a couple I HAVE to start digging deeper on my own. As I was having this epiphany, which sounds like such a DUH! moment, the MIL texted me asking if I would like to participate in a Bible study at their church. Talk about needs being met, knocking and the door being opened, and knowing God is always listening.
Beaten down is an understatement. The last two days I’ve left work fighting back tears of frustration, disappointment, and anger at administration, parents, therapists, and the list continues. Colleagues who have accepted this machine-like way of thinking. This is not fair for all parties involved. I cannot accept the fact that nothing can be done. That everyone is too scared or feels like their voice won’t be heard if they were to speak up. I have never been miserable in a job. I cannot imagine being someone who felt the way I do each day as they faced work for 20+ years. On the other hand I feel so ungrateful, unappreciative, and overall unhappy with this situation, and I don’t like this person. I try very hard to look for my purpose. I find myself in a debate to speak up or to have a better shot at getting a job in 75 days. God, whenever You’re ready to reveal the plan I’ll be happy to hear it.
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